Did you know I started writing a book on Mother's Day in 2020? I did. I came home from spending a day. socially distanced from my mother, my father, my sister and my nieces and came home and started to type.
I'm not sure what it was that day that got my fingers moving at a rapid pace, but before I knew it, I had 1500 words down on paper. The following day, I saw a post by an acquaintance in my yoga circle saying she was starting a writing course for new and aspiring authors. I signed up. Three months later, I had 50,000 words strung together.
A year after that, my world started shifting. I was losing so much and at the same time gaining so much too.
My story was changing in front of me. The words that I wrote before, they had new meaning to them and some of them became new stories to me too. Because of everything that had changed around me, I started forgetting the things that changed me before.
I got a publisher, Wise, Inc. I got wiser in my words and more intentional with my message. I lost, I gained. Friends and family, love, animals, jobs, weight. Everything was shifting in size around me and I had no control.
I would get the encouragement to write, edit and change my words, add a chapter, throw one out. I would get scared to touch the words, to relive them or revive them. And then I would let go of that fear. It was this vicious, cyclical cycle that would make me tremble in fear and burst with excitement.
It's been four years since I wrote those 1500 words on that May evening. It's been 4 years since I completed those 50,000. It's been 3 years since they began to change, morph, grew and lessen.
The only thing that has remained constant in all of it, every single day, is me. I've shown up, I haven't always gotten up, but I've been here for all of it. And I have been humbled in every way.
I've humbly accepted heartbreak and triumphs. I've humbly given myself to love and to grief. I have fallen into the arms of loved ones and even strangers for comfort and reassurance.
So now that I have rambled, not for 1500 words and not for 50,000, I'm going to tell you my most humbling story.
Self publishing a book is not easy and it is not cheap. And I want to tell my story, and the stories that some of you know but many of you don't. The stories of people who have shaped me, for better or for worse. The animals who loved me for all my imperfections. The tales of my family, my friendships and my relationships. The journey that took me from there to there to there to here. I want to show you, yes you, that when the road bends unexpectantly you won't break, I didn't. But you can take a break, a breath and a moment before following the universe to where you will be going next.
In order to do that, I have just a few final steps to do before I publish in the first quarter of the new year. And I am humbly asking for support. For the first time in my life, I've put together a crowdfund for myself, but actually, it's kinda for you, because I want you to read my story and I want you to laugh with me, sometimes at me, and to find comfort in your journey of uncertainty too.
So here it is, my go fund me account: https://gofund.me/fee7a157
I understand timing is not the best and I'm not asking anyone personally because I don't want anyone to feel obligated. So I'm doing this generic post to anyone who may stumble upon it. If you got this far, thank you for reading.
I've changed my mind, I am asking for a holiday gift for the first time in 5 years.
Asking for gifts is hard. Good job