My nutritionist gasped and said “Hadley, you were supposed to be one of our success clients. What happened?” I gained twenty pounds in the span of 2.5 years. 20 pounds! I hated admitting it to myself. I’m not a big fan of admitting it to you either, but the dimples don’t hide 20lbs.
My answer was simple and it was quick “well, I don’t do yoga anymore”. Her eyes got big. That was a big change. But when I got home later that day I started thinking about it.
I turned to my fiancé at the time and I said “I don’t do yoga anymore? I think it’s more than that.” He looked at me sympathetically. And I listed it out…
Well I’m now in my mid forties, I first worked with her in my thirties.
I lost my mom.
I lost both of my dogs.
I fell in love.
I changed jobs.
I got engaged.
I left my job.
I really began hating running.
Oh yeah, and I did stop yoga.
Guess these dimples are proof I survived, but I have battle wounds.
Everything changed and my body changed right along with it. And then sometime after this conversation, I got sick with chronic pain. And when I finally gave myself the grace to grieve and stop trying to rush it away by binging nutritional plans and then binge eating to celebrate my tiny successes. I started to feel better in my skin again. When you’ve lost a lot, you celebrate the tiniest wins. But at some point, I had to celebrate in healthier ways. I started yoga again. And I got married. And I started my own business. And I finished my book. And I got excited and I got happy. And the pain started to leave, the chronic one and the grieving one.
And life works that way. It ebbs and it flows. And the pendulum shifts and we go from good to bad and happy to sad and heavier to healthier.
So next time you question why is this happening because you were supposed to be successful at maintaining anything…check under the hood…there mighty just might be something wrong with more than just the paint rusting, the starter doesn’t start because you forgot to get it checked and the emergency break may be just a little to tight for you to move forward.
Start with how and why first, then find the solution.
When everything changes on the outside…it’s highly likely because everything shifted on the inside.
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